Too Old to Spray Tan?

I left the house tonight and declared, “I’m leaving to get a spray tan. I won’t be gone long.” And my teenage boy kind of giggled and said, “Mom, aren’t you like too old for that?”

Do spray tans have age limits? I mean, I understand that spray tanning toddlers for beauty pageants is a little ridiculous. But my son’s comment made me wonder if there is a maximum age limit.

The last time I had a spray tan was about three or four years ago when I bought a halter dress for a gala I attended with the big Stud. I decided that since I never actually took the wrap off my arms the entire night that I could forgo all future spray tans for these formal events. I could take that extra money and buy an entire outfit at Target with money leftover for a latte. Which I could leisurely sip while digging through the clearance rack. Do I know how to have fun? Whoever thought to put Starbucks inside of Target was a genius, a true innovator! I need to find out who came up with that idea, I bet it was a woman.

Anyway, one of my coworkers got a spray tan for the very first time a few weeks ago. She is in her late thirties and was a little hesitant about it but I told her how easy it was and that she was going to love it. Ever since we had that conversation, I thought that I should go get one since it is mid July and I am so pale that you would think it’s January and I lived in South Dakota. My family is going to the beach so I have been meaning to get some of that self tanning lotion. My sister was just here and she looked so good with her fake tan that I asked her what it was. She uses the new Jergen’s brand, nothing fancy. It looks great.

Of course, I procrastinated all week and never got around to going by the store. I ended up going to the tanning place at 9pm on a Saturday night. Do I know how to fun? When I first got there, the sweet young girl behind that counter said that her mom had just gotten a spray tan too. She just randomly shared this information as to make me feel better for being the oldest person that might have gotten a spray tan on her shift. Sigh.

I refused to let this prove my boy’s theory. You are never too old to spray tan.

I took some pictures to show you how easy it is. You have to get a shower cap to cover your hair, unless you have really big hair and and big head like mine and it only covers a portion of it.

Then there is the attractive nose plug so you won’t inhale the fumes.

Notice how I have carefully angled my head so you can catch a glimpse of the nose plug, anything for my readers!

No makeup helps so it will tan your face too. I couldn’t take off the lipstick because I go nowhere without it. It completes me!

And the green goggles that are too tight just add to the glamour!

When you step inside and close the door you wave your hand on the sensor. A lady’s voice prompts you what to do from then on. I am glad it’s a woman’s voice because a man’s would just be weird.

She tells you which way to turn and what numbers to step on. Of course it takes me a minute to find my right foot and left foot to coordinate with the numbers. It’s kind of like Twister.

It takes all of five minutes. The prep time is longer. I had a coupon and a buy one get one free. I can go back and embarrass my teenager again. Isn’t it our jobs as parents to do just that.

I think I have a coupon for laser hair removal. I might just tell him about that appointment on his Twitter or Instagram accounts.

Spray tans and tweets.

Nope, this mom isn’t too old at all.

Stay Sassy Y’all.