I have been trying to decide what gym to join. Again.
Do y’all remember Bally’s? That was the first gym I ever joined in Dallas back in the late 80’s and early 90’s. It was the one on Greenville Avenue. It was back when J. R. Ewing and big hair was in style, you know the good ‘ol days!
Sigh.
I mean I can totally commit to marriage for over 21 years but to commit to workout facility is asking a lot.
I broke up with my last gym because it was too far. It was one of those fancy gyms with all the amenities and a cafe. We even had the twin’s birthday party there a couple of years ago.
When I was talking to my friend Karen about hunting for another gym, she suggested that I go back to that gym since she loves it and we’d take the kids with us to work out. And we’d be one big healthy workout family! I told her that I had already broke up with that gym because it’s too far and I’ve learned my lesson. She swears that it only takes her six minutes to get to the gym. I think she must have been taking her George Jetson jetpack because it takes me six minutes to get through the light and we live in the same neighborhood!
Since that gym is too far, Goldilocks (in this story Goldilocks is brunette with a touch of grey because she needs to get her roots done) pushed onward to see if she can find a gym that would be just right.
She came upon a gym not too far down the road from her house. She was able to get a three day pass so the heroine of our story could see if this was going to be the perfect gym for her. Upon further review, she found the facility too cluttered inside with lots of things for sale like water bottles and t-shirts. There was so much stuff that it blocked the entry into the gym. It made her feel claustrophobic. Although at the time of day that she went to work out, the “silver sneaker club” was in session so it made her feel awfully good when she was giving those gals a run for their money in the pilates class! Weighing those feel good moments with all the clutter, Goldilocks deemed that this gym was just too cluttered for her.
There was yet another gym near Goldilocks house. This one was pretty new in town and she had been there when it first opened up but it’s one of those places that make you go talk to their sales people who proceed to steer into a certain plan. It’s like the car salesman pitch but for gyms. She didn’t like that aspect the last time she tested it out but she was willing to give it another try. She printed out a VIP two day pass and ran in there for a quick workout on the elliptical machines. When Goldilocks arrived, the perky person at the counter asked to take her picture. This caught her by surprise. She wondered why in the world they would need a picture of her with no make up on and hair all bunched up on her head. It was at that point when one of the car salesmen, make that gym salesmen, approached her to go over the different category of memberships.
Goldilocks couldn’t believe it. Why in the world did they want her to go over the such things when she had already reviewed them online? She was questioning if she would ever be able to find the perfect gym for her. She started to feel queasy. She told the perky staff that she had made a mistake and needed to go home.
Over the next few days, Goldilocks pondered buying an elliptical machine so she could work out in her house. When she measured the room where she would put the massive machine she would have to sell some furniture or she would have to wait for her children to move out!
And then she got an email.
That last gym with all the salesmen? They had a meeting of the minds and decided that Goldilocks could join without having to sit through the sales pitch. They finally realized that for those of us that started working out back when Dallas was on TV, knew exactly what they want and a silly sales pitch that wastes our time wasn’t one of them!
So in our story summary for today:
The first gym was too far.
The second gym was too cluttered.
The third gym was just right, that is after Goldilocks had to put her foot down!
Who knew Goldilocks was so sassy!
Stay Sassy Y’all.
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